Into the Abyss

Dear One – you have just heard the diagnosis, and you're trying to process jargon that you don’t understand, and prognoses and acronyms you can’t follow. You do know that when “special” is used to describe your child’s “needs” that it is not a compliment. You are sad, and angry, and guilty, and scared. You are heading into a lonely, dark place. I know, because I have been there, and I am here to tell you that despite the fact that you fear that there is no way out, there is. I am not saying it will be easy, or, that when you emerge you will be the same person or in the same place that you left behind, but that’s okay. In fact, that may even be the point of the journey, and one day not only will you be able to see that, but you may find it in your heart to be grateful for it.

Not that I claim to have found my way out completely yet, either. But I am, slowly, trudging and clambering up the other side of the crevasse, after years of stumbling through the rocky terrain at the bottom. I am making my way back to the light from the ineffable darkness, and it is made so glorious by knowing its absence.

Keep going Dear Heart. Just keep finding the next step ahead, that’s all you need to do for now. Your child needs you. Not the child you thought you had, but the one right there with you, who is so much more amazing and extraordinary than the paper doll of your imagination. Our collective concept of what a person should be is so superficial and dull compared to the glorious, incandescent souls of our children. And your child will teach you so much more about who you are and the amazing things of which you are capable.

Your child will help you to tap into the most spectacular superpower you never knew you had: your superpower is Love. And your love is fierce and true, and it will see you through anything if you trust it.