The Medicine Game

 Let me tell you about my boy, Jack...

Born in Syracuse, NY, in the heart of lacrosse territory, and in Onondaga County, which is named after a tribe of the Haudenosaunee Nation, he first picked up a lacrosse stick at the age of three. He never put it down again. 

Cursed with British parents who knew nothing about the Creator's Game, he has taught us all about the Spirit of lacrosse. Since he discovered it, he has lived, breathed, slept and eaten the game. Every spare moment, every ounce of energy, every flicker of attention has been devoted to it. Imagine how weird it is to show up at a holiday resort and have to ask the staff if there is a wall somewhere on site with no windows because he has to play wall ball every day; paying excess baggage on every flight for the lacrosse gear that goes with us everywhere; the family holidays that get planned around lacrosse tournaments, even when he is not playing in them; or, that the very first purchase we made when we moved back to England was a Bownet that we dragged to the park every day. Not to mention the hours of driving across London, and up the M6 to Manchester every weekend, just to get to a place where Jack could train with his peers. But we had promised him that when we moved back, leaving his beloved Resolute Lacrosse Club in Ohio behind us, we would find a way for him to play.

School was a challenge for him -- sitting still, in a classroom without a stick to hand, was a kind of hell. Eventually diagnosed with autism and ADHD, which were a key to his devotion to the sport, and his constant, unyielding desire to practice, but were also seen as a "challenge" by teachers, he eventually took matters into his own hands and simply refused to attend school anymore, or walked out when he had had enough, refusing to be boxed in by arbitrary rules that stifled and oppressed him. When one, small, supposedly "caring" school who had promised to support him, asked him to leave, with no notice, the head teacher said to me, "in a way it is good that he is autistic, because it means he won't miss having any friends around him." I was so flabbergasted I could not think of words to respond, although I have thought of many choice ones over the years since. Ultimately, though, I realised I did not want to send him to an institution that saw him that way.

Those were the dark years, when he gave up on himself, and, heartbreakingly, he gave up on his dream to play collegiate lacrosse because he had been taught that he was stupid, and could not do schoolwork. He was anxious and depressed, but he never stopped playing or practising lacrosse -- it was, and will always will be, as the Haudenosaunee say, his Medicine Game. It kept him sane, and, in some ways, I believe it kept him alive.

When I told him that I would never, ever make him go back to school again unless he wanted to go, I saw his spirit lift a little, and he looked at me with trust again. So I gave up my job and promised him that we would find a way together, although I had no idea what that would look like, and I was terrified of getting it wrong. From then on, his days, weeks, and years rotated around his lacrosse, and, very slowly, but surely, I saw him come alive again.

It took a while for him to start to believe in himself again, and even longer for him to believe that maybe, under the right circumstances, and with the right motivation, he was smart enough to do his schoolwork. As his spirit returned, his desire to play at the highest level was unleashed again, and he started to believe that not only could he do the schoolwork he needed to go to college, but he wanted to do it so that he could play lacrosse. We enrolled him in an online American High School programme from England and, fitting it in around his lacrosse training, gym workouts and daily, meditative wall ball drills, he finished high school with a 4.0 GPA in less than 2 years.

Meanwhile, he had been selected to an elite, selective club travel team, called the English Knights, where he found his English lacrosse brothers. Most of them went on to be selected to U19 National teams, including the England squad, which selected Jack when he was 15. But nothing was plain sailing. The English Knights tour of the US had to be cancelled due to logistical problems after two years of training, and then Jack was too young to play for England in the European Championships, and had to support his teammates remotely on TV. 

Jack & Vinnie in Mukuru

As a consolation, we raised the money for him and I to travel to Kenya in 2019 to help to support and coach the first ever African womens' team to travel to their U19s World Championships. Within hours of stepping off the plane, Jack was getting down and dirty with a bunch of boys from the Mukuru slum outside Nairobi, where Kenya Lacrosse had an outreach programme to bring lacrosse to the kids there. He made friends for life, through his beloved sport, with both the women and the young men he met and played with. Jack has always promoted and worked to grow the sport he loves so much, from the little boy in our little village outside Cambridge, who approached Jack on our village green one day to ask him what he was doing, and who now calls for Jack every day after school with his lacrosse stick, to the local university team, which have welcomed him and learned from him since he was 10. The uni boys had to learn to moderate their language, but quickly learned they did not need to moderate their shots on goal...! Then, just as he was selected for the England squad for the U19s World Championships in 2020, COVID hit and the tournament was postponed. Then it was postponed again in 2021.

Jack & John Galloway

Last summer Jack travelled to the US with his Dad, to play with his former club team, Resolute, in Columbus, Ohio. He played at the highest level tournaments with his Resolute Black 2023 team, helping them reach the finals of the NLF -- the furthest they had ever gone in that tournament -- and attended a prospect day at Jacksonville where he was awarded MVP. He chose Jacksonville because his all-time hero, John Galloway coached there.

In September, he waited, with bated breath, to see if any colleges contacted him, only to find that although his peers in the US were getting calls, he heard nothing, except for a lone email from Utah, and a few Division 3 colleges. We hopped on a plane to Utah, and had a fabulous visit, and also managed to squeeze in a couple more prospect days at Drexel and Duke, to make the most of an expensive hop across the Atlantic. He had fantastic feedback from all of them, only to hear that they had all recruited homegrown goalies. Undaunted, if disappointed, Jack kept emailing, and touching base with coaches, and working hard at his lacrosse, deciding that he needed to focus on the upcoming World Championships, which were finally going ahead after a 2-year COVID delay.

Now he is here, in Limerick, at the World's, playing with a team of dedicated athletes, who have had to self-fund their way here, and fit training in between school and jobs, and who are the most wonderful group of brothers to Jack. On paper, their results do not tell the whole story -- a series of tough losses to much better funded and trained teams in the top division, and they still keep on fighting and working hard. We have been buying warehouse-sized boxes of cereal bars and cartons of an Irish brand of chocolate milk that Jack is now addicted to in order to supplement the meager rations being fed to our always-hungry boys. In return, we are feeling lucky because the Kenyans are excited just to have regular meals here. Yes, some of those boys from the Mukuru slums finally made it after endless visa problems and are playing their hearts out with joy and dedication. Now that is the true spirit of lacrosse.

On Saturday, in England's big game against Australia to determine 4th place in the top division, the coaches decided to keep the other goalie in for the whole game. Usually, Jack and his teammate Sam Rogerson, share each game -- Sam is yin to Jack's yang, and they decided that Sam's easygoing nature suited the first half, giving Jack the chance to scout the other team and come in as "The Closer" for the second half. This time, Sam was seeing the ball really well and everyone agreed he should keep playing for the whole game. Jack wholeheartedly supported this decision with grace and understanding, and was unfailing in his support of his fellow goalie and team. As I paced the sideline in frustration, I realised that he is a better person than me. Once again, my boy is teaching me about grace and resilience under pressure.

From England Lacrosse

On Sunday, the coaches put Jack in for the whole game against Canada, under the lights, and in the midst of a brewing thunderstorm. I could not have been more proud. He faced shot after shot from top international players, many of them starters at D1 schools in the US, and kept bouncing back with focus, skill and cheerfulness. The stats are conflicting (as they often are), but ESPN counted 16 saves, although the official stats counted 13. I was unable to count, watching with my heart in my mouth and immense pride.

Afterwards, he was relaxed and happy... truly in his element. This is his happy place. The place where he is meant to be -- facing shots all day and all night, from the best in the world, with his teammates by his side. He will be on the field again today, in the must-win game for England to stay in the Championship bracket. Whatever the game, whoever the opposition, he will be out there, putting his heart and soul into the Creator's Game. It is what he was made for.

He is still uncommitted and college eligible.