Running, Freedom and Power

I was at about mile 2 of my run on a bitterly cold Saturday, and quite enjoying myself, when I turned the corner of my 5 mile loop and came face to face with the wind. A bitter, biting, breathtaking wind. And I thought, 'Whoa! Not so much fun, now, is it, Clare?!'  And then I remembered Michael Kimmel's article "With the Wind at my Back," an article that finally helped this middle class, white English girl, start to understand race and privilege in America. Kimmel's analogy of privilege being like a wind behind your back, that you don't really notice, unless you are one of those having to work against it, really hit home with me because I am a runner.

I am a runner not so much in the sense that I get out there regularly, although I try to. More importantly, I consider myself a runner because I like running, and it makes me feel good, both mentally and physically. Even on the days, which are many, when going out for a run is the last thing I feel like doing, if I make the effort to get those running shoes laced up, and get myself out of the door, I am always glad that I did.

Saturday was a classic example. It was pretty cold here, with a fresh coat of snow only partially plowed off the roads - both good excuses for staying in by the fire. Not only that, but after a busy week, I had, metaphorically, run out of steam, and so even though I was up pretty early, I spent most of the morning mooching around in pajamas, getting some class-related reading done here and there, taking care of the boys, and circling back to bed every now and then. So when my dear husband got the little ones out of the house for a shopping expedition, it would have been all too easy to just hunker down in peace. But instead, I bundled up, set my iPhone to my favorite playlist, strapped on my Garmin Forerunner, and headed out into the tundra. And there it was... just half a mile down the road, I started to feel the bounce in my step and that feeling that it was good to be alive again.

I know this all sounds pretty alien to a lot of non-runners out there. I have had that conversation with my husband many times. He treadmill runs for fitness, and does not enjoy it at all, although he admits to feeling better afterwards. So he totally doesn't get how I can be such a freak about running, or why I would ever want to run, you know... just for fun. I am actually impressed with his dedication that he runs at all when it is as miserable as he describes it. It is much easier for me to be motivated, when I know that I will actually enjoy the experience. What he does takes much more effort.

So I was thinking about all of this as I headed down the road on Saturday. (Did I mention that I do my best thinking when I am out running as well?) I feel this incredible sense of freedom and power when my legs hit their groove, and I feel as if I can do anything, as if anything is possible. It is a pretty giddy feeling... or maybe it's just the endorphins kicking in. So that is when the wind sliced into the bare flesh on my face, and I thought of Kimmel's analogy. And I dug in, adjusted my stride and the angle of my body, and appreciated the fact that I could choose to run into the wind.